Asian-American porn star seeks Nevada governor’s job

 Las Vegas – Mimi Miyagi, the Asian-American porn actress and star of such films as "Seoul Train" and "China Vagina", officially declared her candidacy to run for governor of Nevada earlier this month as a Republican.

Miyagi made her last porn movie, Happy Endings, in 2003, and has since moved on to low-budget mainstream productions, while continuing to work as a stripper and peddle Internet porn.

"I have nothing left to hide," she said when filing her papers for the November election. "My slogan is, 'I'm bare and honest at all times.'" The popular American political blog, Wonkette, has already endorsed the candidate, who is running under her real name, Melody Damayo. "Do we really need any more reason to endorse her? She's a fucking PORN STAR. Running for GOVERNOR OF NEVADA. As a REPUBLICAN. 'Nuff said," wrote Wonkette.

Playboy falls flat in Indonesia

Jakarta – If Hugh Hefner saw the sanitized photographs featured in the first edition of Playboy Indonesia, the octogenarian founder of the world's most famous skin magazine would probably need to reach for his Viagra to feel anything erotic.

In the centerfold, all evidence of Miss April's nipple and the pigmented skin surrounding it has been airbrushed out, her demure proportions and midriff concealed by a lacy powder blue slip and matching pair of sensible briefs.

But despite art directors' deft navigation of the strict obscenity and nudity clauses in Indonesia's pornography legislation, it is unlikely that a second edition of Playboy Indonesia will ever reach newsstands in the world's most populous Muslim nation.

Missouri Teacher Accused of Coming to School Drunk, Fondling Student

ST. LOUIS [AP] — A middle school teacher was arrested after police said he showed up at school drunk, asked one of his students to fetch cognac, then fondled a student and made a sexual remark to another.

The teacher, Sterling Johnson, was charged with misdemeanor assault and a misdemeanor count of disturbing the peace. The school system will seek to have him fired, said Creg Williams, superintendent of public schools in St. Louis.

Johnson, 55, is an industrial arts teacher at the Pruitt Military Academy, a magnet school in the district.

After arriving at school Monday morning, police said Johnson asked a student to retrieve a bag containing a bottle of cognac from his car. Police then said Johnson rubbed the buttocks and thigh of a 13-year-old girl and directed a sexual remark at another 13-year-old girl.

The principal ordered the teacher, who has been teaching for 22 years, to leave after becoming aware of his behavior, police said. Johnson complied but returned a short time later and was arrested. Williams said a hidden bottle of liquor was found in Johnson's classroom.

Arizona Gov. Signs Bill to Ban Bestiality

PHOENIX [AP] — Gov. Janet Napolitano on Wednesday signed into law a bill to again make bestiality a crime in Arizona.

The new law replaces a repealed one against the “infamous crime against nature.” That law was repealed in 2001 but was previously amended to exclude sex with an animal.

A legislative staff memo said the only current state law related to bestiality is a public indecency statute that prohibits certain human contact with animals. That crime is a misdemeanor unless the presence of a minor makes it a felony.

The new law, which takes effect 90 days after the end of the current legislative session, will make sexual intercourse with an animal and specified other sex acts a felony.

The bill (SB1160) was proposed after the March arrest of a Mesa deputy fire chief, Leroy Johnson.

Johnson, 52 at the time of his arrest, was accused of alleged bestial acts with his next-door neighbor’s lamb. He was booked on misdemeanor charges of disorderly conduct, trespassing and public sexual indecency. He filed for retirement from the fire department after his arrest.

Bible Student Charged in Phone Sex Case

OWATONNA, Minn. (AP) — A student at Pillsbury Baptist Bible College was charged in the theft of his roommate's debit card, which was used to pay for more than $2,300 worth of calls to phone sex lines, prosecutors allege in court papers.

Shane Erin Mack, 20, of Belt, Mont., was charged with the gross misdemeanors of identity theft and theft by false representation. He made his first court appearance on Monday. Bail was set at $2,500. He remained in jail Tuesday afternoon.

Steele County prosecutor Scott Schrener said investigators only had documentation in hand for about $500 worth of calls, but the victim reported that $2,350 worth of calls had been made. Schrener said the criminal charges could be upgraded in the future.

The calls were made from March 23 to May 13, according to court papers.

Mack allegedly told investigators he admitted taking the debit card out of his roommate's wallet and using it to make up to 30 calls to adult phone lines from public phones on campus, the criminal complaint said.

College spokesman Tom Lawson said Mack would not be allowed to return to the school when classes resume in the fall. According to the college Web site, the college offers a Christian "education program which imparts a biblical worldview."

A call to the public defender who represented Mack in court on Monday was not immediately returned.

Mack's next court appearance was scheduled for June 1.

Seymore Butts’ “Asshunt” is Buyer’s Choice

Chatsworth, CA – The Seymore Butts Express just keeps right on rolling. With season four of his highly successful Showtime reality program “Family Business” in full swing Seymore received word that his latest release, “Asshunt” has been certified as an XBIZ Buyers’ Choice. A leading adult industry source, XBIZ gathers information from retails stores and web sites to track sales on individual adult titles. A select few are given the honor of being named a Buyers’ Choice.

Seymore Butts’ Asshunt is a smorgasbord of amazing ass. The movie stars the W.C.W. wrestler “Major Gunns” a.k.a. fitness model Tylene Buck, squirting queen of ass, Flower Tucci, and features the return of adult film legend Taylor Hayes. With such premium tushies on hand, it is no wonder “Asshunt” has been a hit with fans and buyers.

JM Productions to Release Anal Full Nelson

 Chatsworth, CA – On June 5th professional wrestling fans and perverts alike will have cause to rejoice as JM Productions, known worldwide as innovator in the pornographic arts, will release Anal Full Nelson onto the waiting masses. It is the first installment of a new series that is guaranteed to amaze and astound all that gaze upon it. You may be asking yourself, “What the hell is an Anal Full Nelson?” Simply put (or not so simply if you happen to find yourself in the unfortunate position of having it applied to you), the Anal Full Nelson is a sexual position that combines the full nelson wrestling hold, in which both hands are thrust under a whore’s arms from behind and then pressed firmly against the back of her neck, with vigorous and relentlessly intense anal sex. It’s truly a sight to behold.

After perfecting the position over several years in its other series, JM decided that the mesmerizing position was read to become its own series. “The Anal Full Nelson hold as really such a powerful visual spectacle that it really deserved to be the focus of a new series,” explains JM publicist Tony Malice, “I’m sure that when a porn fan sees this movie the stunned look of Kelly Wells, for instance, will be forever seared into their memory.”

Anal Full Nelson covergirl and JM contract whore Ashley Blue found this project to be a somewhat different experience than the hundreds of other movies she has appeared in. “After being fucked in the ass more times than I can remember it’s nice to finally experience something different,” explains Blue, “After I did this movie my neck actually hurt more than my asshole. It was refreshing.”

JM Productions is sure that Anal Full Nelson will have a significant cross over appeal to wrestling fans who will be pleasantly surprised to see merciless sodomy seamlessly melded with an old, familiar wrestling hold. In addition to Kelly Wells and Ashley Blue, the film also stars Jamie Elle and Katerina Kat.

Anal Full Nelson hits the streets on DVD June 5th. Distributors can order now by contacting JM at (800)550-3659. For more information or to acquire your copy please visit Jerkoffzone.com on the web!

[News of the World] – SEXY Ellie Allen is a girl who just can't say no— because she's too busy saying Yes…Yes…YES!

The pretty brunette suffers from a rare but genuine medical condition that means she has up to 250 orgasms a DAY.

It's called Permanent Sexual Arousal Syndrome—PSAS.

But Ellie isn't moaning—in fact she can see the funny side of her complaint.

"Men brag that they'd love a woman who can't stop climaxing," she laughed. "But I struggle to find partners who can keep up with me."

Dutch policewomen complain about new ’see-through’ uniform

THE HAGUE (AFP) – The Dutch police union has received dozens of official complaints from policewomen about their new uniform blouse which they say is see-through.

The officers feel "uneasy" and "closely watched" while wearing the new garment, police union chairman Hans van Duijn told Monday's edition of the Algemeen Dagblad newspaper.

"Even a white bra shows through the fabric," he explained.

The police union has already received 20 official complaints although distribution of the new uniform has only just started.

Van Duijn suggested that police start issuing official undershirts to tackle the see-through problem.

This is not the first time the new blouse has sparked complaints. Earlier gold buttons on the breast pockets were replaced by more subdued white buttons because female officers complained the flashy gold drew too much attention to their chest.

Playboy Preaches Decency

 Multi Chanel News – Christie Hefner is about to launch a crusade: Teaching Americans how not to watch TV they might find offensive, such as Playboy TV’s sexually seasoned programming. Playboy Enterprises Inc. is about to begin cultivating video- and communications-industry support for an extensive, long- term educational initiative — in both English and Spanish — that will teach parents how to use various content-control devices and ratings guidelines. And she intends to gain airtime on cable-television channels to do so.